Happiness Is Not What We Need Most

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Sunday, March 11, 2012



In the online simulation game The Sims, when an avatar accomplishes all
of her lifetime aspirations, she achieves "Permanent Platinum" status,
otherwise known as permanent happiness. Once "Platinum," her mood bar
cannot slip below a certain level, and her environment no longer impacts
her happiness. She is frozen in happiness.

Interestingly, when I spoke with players of the game, without exception,
all believed Permanent Platinum to be a terrible fate. Permanent
happiness left them feeling stuck and disconnected from their alter ego,
with nothing left to live for. Their reason for taking action, namely,
to improve their mood bar, was removed. As a result, everything felt
washed out and pointless. Most discontinued their permanently happy
characters (aka, killed them off) and created new avatars, who could
experience discomfort and once again aim to achieve happiness.

And yet despite the fact that happiness is consistently inconsistent,
permanently impermanent, we judge ourselves as failures when we cannot
maintain consistent happiness. People who are not happy are seen as
failures; it is our fault that we cannot hold onto happiness. We are not
trying hard enough, not living our life right. And after all, no one
wants to be a around a Debbie Downer, you might catch what she has.
Regardless of unceasing evidence to the contrary, we keep demanding and
expecting that happiness be something that it isn't -- that life be
something that it isn't.

The good news is that unlike happiness, the ingredients of well-being
are entirely within us -- not reliant upon circumstances that are
external, perpetually in flux and too often out of our control. At last,
we can call off the search for something outside ourselves! Perhaps in
the game of life, we can discover our own Platinum Well-Being Status,
mindful that it is not a button that we press once and forget, but
rather, a way of being that requires our attention in all of the nows
that we get to live!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nancy-colier/happiness_b_1300996.html

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